Category: emotional


A poem for those who believe in absolutes and blanket statements. Stereotyping is the use of blanket statements or beliefs, of which, we have all been guilty. Once a person adheres to an absolute on any of these they cease to see people as people but rather one of “them” . May we continually learn about the logs in our own eyes.

Not All But Some….

Not all Americans are arrogant but some….

Not all Capitalists are greedy but some….

Not all Socialists are against freedom but some….

Not all Republicans are heartless but some….

Not all Democrats are elitists but some…..

Not all Libertarians are selfish but some….

Not all Green Party are against economic growth but some….

Not all in the Tea Party are xenophobic but some…..

Not all Muslims hate Israel but some…..

Not all Buddhists are godless but some…..

Not all Hindus follow the caste system but some….

Not all Jews hate the Palestinians but some….

Not all Atheists are immoral but some….

Not all Christians are judgmental but some….

Not all Spiritual people are not religious but some…..

Not all addicts knew what they were getting into but some….

Not all Police are on power trips but some….

Not all urban youth are up to no good but some….

Not all recipients of help/charity/welfare become dependent but some…..

Not all people repeat negative family cycles but some….

Not all divorces were avoidable but some…..

Not all rednecks are racists but some….

Not all immigrants can do it legally but some….

Not all gun owners are cowboy wannabes but some….

Not all LGBT are promiscuous activists but some….

Not all children are loved and cared for but some….

Not all abortions were careless but some….

Not all law-breakers deserve imprisonment but some….

Not all boss’ are jerks but some….

Not all the poor are lazy but some….

Not all the 1% are predatory but some….

Not all patriots are idolaters but some….

Not all soldiers want to kill but some….

Not all vegans/vegetarians are smug but some….

Not all politicians are scumbags but some….

Not all religious people are weak-minded but some….

Not all social activists really care but some….

Not all Americans are spoiled but some….

Not all problems in life are self-induced but some….

Not all who disagree with you are right but some….

 

 

And of the “some” mercy, grace and love covers all of the above.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I was having a conversation with a friend a few weeks back that has continued to be on my mind. He was saying that in their house that they do not let their kids say “I’m sorry.” but rather say “I apologize for ________ and ask your forgiveness”.  His point that a sorry can become flippant and without much feeling or understanding. This made some  sense to me.

There is another thing about this that got has gotten me thinking and I shared it with a group of friends the other day and it jived with them. Here it is; how often does the word sorry turn into a noun when you use it?

Years ago at a company meeting I got told “You say you’re sorry a lot”. Well, I was fairly new there and was doing my job very well so now looking back, I realize I was trying to maintain my image of being a good plumber and a “nice guy”. But what happens in your heart when you are always saying I’m sorry?

I am becoming convinced it eventually becomes your identity. The crappy part is that the mistake you are saying sorry for also can become your identity. It can become an internal script where you are sorry because you are a mistake. Make any sense?

This unintentional process also takes you out of the actual relationship where you are expressing your sorry-ness.  I can become so wrapped up in myself that I wonder how accurate my “sorry” actually is.

This has not worked in my life and as often as I hear sorry out there  I imagine I am not the only one. I am going to pick up the tool of “I apologize for ________ and ask your forgiveness” so I can actually experience the situation and get out of my mind and present to those I am sharing my heart with.

The truth is I am not sorry as my identity. I do act wrongly and selfishly at times. I make mistakes but I am not a mistake.  You are not sorry or a mistake either. One more time, YOU ARE NOT SORRY OR A MISTAKE.

Sorry No More

“But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,”- Jesus

So what does this mean? Is it even possible? What the heck does Jesus even mean? Is he really talking to me?

What I believe Jesus is wanting from us is to really see people. To see another human being as the precious, unique creation that they are because they simply exist. I have heard it said that Jesus came to clear up God’s reputation and to that I truly agree. I have to wonder if he also came to truly establish our value as human beings? Do you see people or issues?

Over my life I have been hurt deeply by those I love and I have hurt those I love as well. I found myself so stuck at times when I only saw my pain and didn’t look at the life of those inflicting it.  Once I began to open my eyes to see that those around me were simply doing the best they knew how with the tools that they had it helped me see them. My mom hurt me much growing up but when I began to see her as an individual with hurts of her own, I began to see her hurtfulness as her acting out of her own pain. This does not excuse the actions at all but allow me to see her as a person who loved(s) me the best she knew how.

Abdalluh is a young man who has grown up in Afghanistan. His country has been at war virtually his whole existence. His father struggles to supply the needs of his family and acts out in rage at his own inadequacies. His mother’s voice is tender and loving but of no value outside their home. The family attends their local Mosque regularly where he is taught a mix of love and hate. Then his school is destroyed in a bombing limiting his ability to learn. Then food is dropped from the air from the same source as the bombs. Confusion sets in and sadness hurts. Anger, rage and hatred do not seemingly feel as bad.

Is Abdalluh your enemy? Does his life have less worth? Is he simply a causality of a cruel world?

What about Calvin? He is a teenager in the urban core. His mom had him when she was 15. She loves him but has little tools and continues to salve her hurt with drugs and relationships. His father, immature and fatherless himself, runs away from his responsibilities before winding up in prison for armed robbery. Calvin’s grandmother raises him along with the urban culture. She insists on church where he learns of unconditional love with a mix of not measuring up. He sees the money, girls and prestige the thugs in the neighborhood have so he starts hanging out with them.

Is Calvin your enemy? Does his life have less worth? Is he simply a causality of a cruel world?

When Jesus entered into our humanity, he entered into both Calvin and Abdalluh.

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’- Jesus

Jesus is saying that you saw my worth as a human being and then cared for me. Anytime we choose to take away the inherent value of a person and turn them into something else we are losing sight of our common humanity.

I know people will say that if this were tried we would be destroyed by our enemies and they may very well be right. I do not pretend to know how these things would work. I simply want to raise the questions of how well the current way has worked? And also to ask if you personally could learn to see people? This is hard to do! We have to check our judgements in favor of love. Loving our enemies is not some magic Jesus thing found only through forgiveness. Rather it’s when we begin to see the fact that we are all in this journey together that the natural flow of grace, love, reconciliation and forgiveness will flow.

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